I saw this quote the other day and thought it was perfectly accurate for my “running life” right now. I’m grappling with the decision to either ditch or commit to the marathon at some point this fall. 6 days ago, I wrote that “I’m confident it will happen.” But my left quad is still presenting problems and I feel like I’m trying every kind of ‘path’ to figure out what’s going on. I’ve flip-flopped countless times in the past 2.5 weeks. Should I run the marathon or should I move on?
On one hand, I think “of course I’ll run one! I’ve been training for 4+ months!”. I’ve worked hard and I should get to a start line to finish what I’ve started.
I shouldn’t give up so easily.
I should let go of time goals.
I should run the marathon for FUN.
I should just see what happens.
I should give my leg time to rest (as I’ve been doing) and then celebrate my hard work by racing, regardless of whether or not a PR happens.
On the other hand, I think “maybe it’s not meant to be?”. Maybe this is just one of those learning experiences that will make 2014 a badass year of racing. My body is trying to tell me something and I have to listen to it.
I shouldn’t suffer through 26.2
I shouldn’t put my leg through stress if it’s feeling this way, weeks out from a goal race.
I shouldn’t take a risk.
The Grand Rapids Marathon is in 17 days. An alternate race that might work is in 30 days. And it’s a race against a recovery clock.
This Sunday will mark 3 weeks of “recovery”. My weekly mileage took a huge plummet after a 17-mile run on September 14th. And the most I’ve run in one week since then is 25 miles. All easy miles, no workouts. In my world, this is just torture. When I’m frustrated about something, I go for a run. And that’s the one thing that I can’t do right now. People say “do the things that you normally don’t have time for when you’re training!” and “have fun!”. I know I should and to some extent, I’m following that advice. But it’s proving to be much easier said than done, folks.
I keep hoping that one day (like…tomorrow?) I will wake up and the nasty little knot will be gone. I’ll be able to run comfortably for more than 10 miles and the marathon will happen and everything will be sunshine and rainbows and the finish line will be glorious and all of my hard work & appropriate recovery will have paid off and that first beer will taste so delicious. Ahhh finish line beer is always delicious, isn’t it?
It’s only been a few weeks, but I’ve tried “lots of different paths”.
I’ve consulted a chiropractor, massage therapist (massage of a lifetime!), and now a physical therapist. Graston relieved some pain and electrode therapy felt funny and weird and awesome all at the same time. One of the most frustrating aspects of all of this is that I don’t even know what the problem is. And no one has an answer because my body is speaking a different language. The only answer that ‘works’ is “you have to rest”. So that’s what I’ve been doing. We’ve ruled out a stress fracture with an MRI (even though it would be an anomaly that I had one in my femur…) and it seems like I just have a tight adductor that just won’t let go. And, at this point, I don’t think any amount of massage is going to encourage it to release. I’m scheduled for physical therapy 2 times a week to strengthen my hips and work on stability muscles. I even had a routine blood test done to see if that would provide an answer (and heyoooo ferritin levels are normal to high!).
I feel like I’m pulling out all the stops, people! I’m taking it as easy as I can and trying to be patient but at some point I have to make a decision. And I don’t want to make that decision a week out from a race. Limbo is tough, y’all. Maybe after trying all of these “different paths”, there’s only one that’s really going to work.