Yesterday didn’t go the way I envisioned it.
First bonk. I resigned to just getting to the finish line from mile 8 on. 5+ miles is a long way to go just knowing that it wasn’t your day and you didn’t meet your goal. It wasn’t so much the physical work to get to the finish line, it was the mental beating I gave myself as I ran. I stopped looking at my watch or caring about my mile splits. They didn’t matter anyway.
I knew pretty early on that 1:32:xx was an aggressive goal in those conditions. The forecast fluctuated a lot in the days leading up to the race but I hoped that the clouds would stick around and provide some kind of relief in the heat and humidity. I thought it was going to be 68 and cloudy (although still humid) but when I woke up at 4:15 AM, it was already 74 degrees outside.
By mile 4 I looked like I had jumped in the lake. I wasn’t dehydrated, but I was overheating. Each time I poured water over my head, I was surprised how cold it felt.Britt! (near mile 7?)
I know that 1:40:xx is not indicative of my ability. I’m stronger that that. After a pity-fest and too many tears when I went home yesterday, I forced myself to spend time with the gang and grab a few beers with Kristy, who ran like a BEAST with a 1:24 PR and 9th female finish overall (!!!!). The running community never fails to provide a dose of reality and positive thoughts. Coach told me to “let disappointment turn into resolve and move forward”.
The weather conditions were out of control but I’m in control of my own thoughts.
I’m going to try not to linger on disappointment for too long and look forward to the rest of the training cycle. There’s too much progress already in this cycle to let this one race consume me. Lately it’s a matter of getting back to my mental game than lack of physical toughness. I used to let my mind wander more. I spent a lot of time just dreaming about the “what ifs”. And it always led to results. Instead of finding reasons why something won’t happen, I need to focus on reasons why it will. I want to be able to think “how cool would that be if ______?!” again.
I’m going to pick up this book and start dreaming a little bit more.
I’ll have more fun that way.